Cornell Freshmen Busted for Butchering a Bear in Their Dorm 🔪

This is a tough one. From a team who manipulates words on a daily basis, this morning we find ourselves struggling to find any. Today is September 11th, a date forever marked by tragedy and one worthy of a lifetime of solemn reflection.

This year, it’s also the day after the tragic passing of a voice of truth and most importantly, a voice of reason here in America. Charlie Kirk incapsulated the American spirit like none other and was taken from us far too soon.

May both of these tragic events serve as a powerful reminder to check in on one another and to find strength in community all across this country. Our prayers are with all of those affected by the despicable events that unfolded on September 11, 2001 and on September 10, 2025.

With that in mind, let’s all take a minute to grab a hug from a loved one and get this Thursday morning dispatch out the door.

Here's what's worth reading about today:

NOT HOW I WOULD HAVE DONE IT…
CORNELL FRESHMEN BUSTED FOR BUTCHERING A BEAR IN THEIR DORM

In a startling incident at Cornell University, a pair of freshman students sparked campus outrage by skinning a legally hunted black bear in their residence hall room late last week. The episode, which is equal parts bold and boneheaded, saw the two 18-year-old hunters turn Clara Dickson Hall into a makeshift butcher shop, sparking a campus meltdown, policy crackdowns, and a classic clash of rural grit versus urban sensibilities.

Around 8:30 p.m. on September 5th, Cornell University Department of Public Safety officers responded to complaints of a foul odor emanating from a shared communal kitchen in Ganędagǫ: Hall, a first-year undergraduate residence hall on Cornell's North Campus. Inside, two 18-year-old male students, both undeclared majors in the College of Arts and Sciences, were found skinning a 150-pound, black bear carcass on atop a table (likely a kitchen or lounge table) that was draped with a camouflage-patterned tarp to contain the mess. The students had reportedly dragged the bear into the building through a side entrance earlier that day to avoid detection after legally harvesting it during a hunting trip in Tompkins County over the Labor Day weekend.…

💕 Bull Moose’s Steamy Affair with Timber Twin Stuns Montana Locals. A young bull moose turned heads and caused a traffic jam earlier this week in Red Lodge, Montana, when he fell head over hooves for a wooden moose statue outside the Roosevelt Center. Mistaking the life-sized Rocky Mountain juniper sculpture for a hot date, this hormonal Casanova spent his Monday morning sniffing, nuzzling, and - yep - even mounting the unresponsive artwork with all the finesse of a teenager at a school dance. Locals couldn’t resist whipping out their phones to capture the viral-worthy spectacle, with some joking about the possibility of the moose probably waking up with a few extra splinters after his passionate, if misguided, rendezvous.

The wooden moose, a 2020 creation by artisan Lee Kern, stood stoic through the amorous assault, unfazed by the young bull’s awkward advances. Wildlife experts like Jorn Vangoidtsenhoven found the scene “hilarious,” noting that unless someone slathered the statue with synthetic cow pheromones, this moose was just young, dumb, and full of… enthusiasm. No harm done, though—Red Lodge residents kept their distance, chuckling as the love-struck moose eventually wandered off in search of a more responsive partner. First loves are rough, buddy.

🙏 Teen Recovering After Accidental Shooting During Nebraska Dove Hunt. On Sunday, a 16-year-old boy was injured in a hunting accident while dove hunting on private property southwest of Chadron in Nebraska’s Sandhills, according to the Nebraska Game and Parks Commission. Around 6:45 p.m. MT, the teen was unintentionally shot at close range by another member of his hunting party, sustaining birdshot wounds to his face, torso, arm, and hand. He was promptly transported by his group to Chadron Community Hospital, where he was treated and subsequently released, indicating a non-life-threatening injury.

The incident, the second reported hunting accident in Nebraska this year, is under investigation by the Nebraska Game and Parks Commission. Authorities emphasized the importance of firearm safety, noting that since mandatory hunter education and hunter orange requirements were introduced in 1972, annual hunting incidents have decreased by over 70%. Hunters are urged to adhere to key safety rules: treat every firearm as loaded, keep the muzzle pointed in a safe direction, be certain of the target and its surroundings, and keep fingers off the trigger until ready to fire.

😤 No photographs please. Watch as this aspiring influencer learns that not all of God’s creatures are interested in your latest reel.

I’d love to tell you that she learned a lesson here, but we all know that ain’t true…

🐆 Leopard On the Rooftop : Jadu Manji tried desperately to keep the tattered umbrella over the head of his wife Rongo as she attempted to shield her two-month-old infant from the incessant rain. The little family huddled under the eaves of a small rural bus stop near the village of Dharampur in Orissa state. The thatch provided little protection as the rain dripped down on them. It was late December and the night was cool. The soaking rain made everyone shiver as they crowded together for warmth. No one else was at the stop, probably recognizing that travel on such a night had better be postponed until another day. The family had important business at Balliguda, and both the man and his wife hoped the bus would come soon.

At least inside the bus it would be dry. Read the full story.

❌ “X” Marks the Grouse: The premise was simple: Take three guides with proven cover dogs; team them with six experienced wingshooters; drop them all in an area they’ve never hunted before; and, with the help of one of today’s most advanced hunting technologies, see if they can find and shoot birds.

What could be so hard about that? I thought when invited to join the group. Then I was told what we’d be hunting: ruffed grouse—one of the upland’s most elusive gamebirds. That certainly ratcheted up the difficulty factor but also the intrigue. Who wouldn’t want to learn how to become a better grouse hunter? Challenge accepted!  Read the full story.

🗻 Andrew Garcia: Montana’s Last Best Mountain Man: Andrew Garcia saw the curtains close on the Western frontier while he was still playing his part. He recorded his wildest days on thousands of pages stashed away in old dynamite boxes at his ranch near present-day Alberton. Unlike other mountain men and women of the frontier, he could read and write, leaving us with more than just hand-me-down tales. 

Garcia was born in the Rio Grande Valley of south Texas, and at 23 he made his way north to Montana as a packer and herder at Fort Ellis in Bozeman. It was there he met a raging alcoholic trapper named Beaver Tom. Read the full story.

Oh, and one more thing…